Southern Entrance Products
To protect your home from Inauspicious Influences
Here are some great new products to protect your home from Southern Entrance Products (SEP). They make great Christmas gifts!
Earn some extra holiday cash with this new opportunity, multi-level of course. (Get them before MAPI takes them over and raises the prices.) Fairfield is a perfect market for them!
Rakshasa Repellant - $100/bottle
Just spray on twice a day, and you can walk in any southern door with confidence. Mix with your favorite fragrance.
Southern Entrance Safety Signs
Post or stick on your southern door - $5 each (Save thousands on reconstruction costs!)
Confuse the Rakshasas with these compasses which indicate "N" for South and "S" for North. Leave several of these outside your southern entrance and send those nasty beings back where they came from!
- $25
Book: "Influencing Inauspicious Influences" - by Dale Carnegie
Fight back! You do not have to live your life accommodating invisible "inauspicious influences." Go in the entrance that is most convenient for you. Keep your sunny southern entrance, and regain mastery of your life. - $25
Music
CD: "Superstition" - by Stevie Wonder
- $50 (Why so much? These are auspicious copies.)
"Scientific Research on the Southern Entrance Theory - Abstact" $.45, 1 page
There has been only one study that we've heard of, done by Fred Travis PhD of MUM faculty. With the assistance of two graduate students, they drove around Fairfield to check entrances against a list of break ins, and analyzed the numbers. There was a slight positive, but not significant, correlation between southern houses in this meditating community, and crime. It showed that "inauspicious" West had the least number of break-ins.
Inauspicious Influence Interceptors - $49.95
They come in various models, plastic, about 3 feet high.
All with that special Inner Light that turns them away!
Southern Entrance Soldier - red negativity neutralizing Nutcracker
Frosty the Southern Pole Snowman
Rudolf the Red-Nosed Rakshasa-Neutralizing Reindeer
Southern Entrance Singing Angel
Virgin Mary
Pink Flamingo - classic
and other Sthapatyavedic Lawn Ornaments to protect your home or business
Caveat Emptor! These may LOOK like the ordinary lawn ornaments that sell for $6.95 in stores, but these have gone through special training and tactics. That's why the higher price.
* Note: Do NOT use a Santa Claus I.I.I. SERF has removed this from the product line, because it was found that this actually ATTRACTED I.I.'s The present theory is that I.I.'s travel from the south because they want to get to the North Pole, probably for the toy manufacturing facility there. They may have pursued this facility when it was in Turkey in the 3rd century. Saint Nicholas may have found that it attracked Rakshasas and move it far away from any city. That way he could continue to make toys for kids and not endanger the population. He indeed is a saint.
People are already starting to use them. They are popping up all over Fairfield. Walkers put one up in their window which faces south, which may explain his increased business the past week or so. And they had one on stage at the Winter Ball at the MUM Student Union. They have many on the square downtown. Walmart has 20 at their north entrance - you can't be too safe.
"Much less expensive than remodeling and rectifying your house!"
Coming soon...
Scientists at Southern Entrance Products are working on a top secret Magnetic Rakshasa Deflector Dish. Estimated retail price: $500. It will generate a magnetic field from a dish in the southern direction. This will fool Rakshasas, and even compasses into thinking it is an not a southern entrance. If it can give an east heading, it may even attract auspicious influences!
http://Sthapatyaved.com
il price: $500. It will generate a magnetic field from a dish in the southern direction. This will fool Rakshasas, and even compasses into thinking it is an not a southern entrance. If it can give an east heading, it may even attract auspicious influences!
